I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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