please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
