Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
