Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
