Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
