so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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