I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
BRING THE BAGELS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
