Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize