So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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