No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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