I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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