If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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