I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If that was your dad, he is hot
everyone is single if you try hard enough
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
