why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She said her name was "party"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
