Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
