accomplished twins. life is a go
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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