Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
