I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
