i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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