We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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