remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
