fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
