I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
