if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
