I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
