I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
