I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
