Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
