I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
True strength comes from lack of pants
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
