my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
