I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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