I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
