but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
