So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
