He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
