Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
