its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize