I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
