I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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