so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drake has all the answers
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
