Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
