...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize