They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
