plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize