are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize