Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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