He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize