If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
