what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize