everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
