dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's blow job season.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
