Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
