Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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