we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
