I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
