um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
